Spoiler: Almost everything in here was originally published pre-2020.
WordPress gives you some stats, and I decided to look them up to be equally delighted and depressed by my numbers. Reserving the actual page views for myself, here are my top five most viewed blog posts from 2020:
Art & Anxiety – Coming in at my fifth most popular blog post of 2020 from February of this year right after I released The Korinniad (which you can get for free if you sign up for my mailing list!) is this little piece that I’m weirdly proud of. I guess it resonated with readers too since it got a fair number of likes (in relation to everything else here), or I just used the tags really well. Rereading this, I recognize I don’t have those feelings as much anymore but not necessarily because I’ve abandoned those feelings, but more likely because I’ve absorbed them so wholeheartedly that they don’t feel weird and bad anymore. Hm, growth.
Things I Don’t Fucking Understand: Lysol Aerosol Spray – Fucking Covid. This blog is actually from all the way back in 2017, but it got a lot of hits this year due to the pandemic and the stockpiling people did of cleaning supplies. Imagine if I’d written about toilet paper too? I doubt the people who landed there actually read it though which is a shame because it’s from back when I was funny. From back when the world was funny. Now it’s just all sickness and death and despair and…
Figure of Speech: Paradiastole – There was a time when I was really into learning all the figures of speech but I actually found it really hard to find them and then gave up. Apparently other people on the internet did something similar and they still find this blog three years after it was published. Maybe I should take up this mantle again?
Is “Semi-Charmed Life” The Best Pop Song Ever Written – The answer is still yes.
And my most popular post of 2020 is…
What’s Fred Durst Up To These Days? – Save for “Art & Anxiety,” this is the newest post of the top five list (from December 2019), but it’s the winner. Amazing. I really thought I had a unique thought about Limp Bizkit’s front man, but no: lots of other people did too, and they came to me to find out. I’m a goddamned investigative journalist. I’ve also made it my mission this year to get recognized by Fred Durst himself, but it just isn’t happening. I’ve been @-ing him pictures of station wagons on Instagram and everything, but no, he plugs some dickwad’s story mocking the 90’s version of him, but can’t like the retro, wood-paneled Jeep I dedicated a whole post to to get his attention. My only resolution for next year: some acknowledgement from Mr. Durst himself. Notice me, sempai, notice me!