New year, new expectations. Everything’s back to zero: page reads, orders, attempts at doing a new thing. January 1st is so full of opportunity, it’s practically debilitating.
But it’s just another day. And just another year. You can start anytime you want, this is all arbitrary, but I am doing a little reset for myself.
I’ve chosen a word for the year instead of resolutions or individual goals (those I want to do monthly anyway). I considered a few words, but most of them were in response to 2022. This word should be clean and fresh and new. So.
I’m going into this year soft, and I’m going to try to stay that way. I don’t mind an attempt at being tough, at working hard and spitting in the face of adversity, scraping, overcoming, triumphing. That’s great! I’m just…not gonna do that this year. I’ll be 36 in July, and I’m tired (lol). I’m going to grow at my own pace and open myself up to the sun, and do it in my quiet little corner of the forest.
I’m also going to be kind to myself because it’s probably time for that.
I guess this is a response to 2022 too. (Gosh, that’s a lotta 2s.) But I think it’s a better response, for me. I have a tendency toward anger, annoyance, very little tolerance and patience (at least on the inside), and it makes me miserable (which probably reminds you of a number of the male love interests I write, huh?). I worked on that a lot in 2022, and I think I have the tools to keep improving now.
None of this is to say I won’t be pushing myself this year. I intend to publish more books and crawl out of my comfort zone in other ways, but do these things in a blossoming, unfurling, opening up to the sun way. I just don’t want to punch at the earth and claw my way up through the gravel and sprout from between the cracks in the sidewalk. I get it, that’s inspiring and holds its own beauty, but it’s exhausting and leaves you surrounded by an inhospitable atmosphere.
I just want some peace. I want to feel cozy and maybe even a little pretty and to seek out the value that already exists and nurture it for once instead of relying on it to sustain. Here’s to 2023, the year of blooming.