This morning I got up a bit earlier than normal to be ready for a delivery. Since moving we’ve had a number of big deliveries that we have had to be home for, and in every instance that delivery has come outside the delivery window, at the very possible end, in the dark, so you can imagine how surprised I was to get a phone call at 7:30 this morning telling me the delivery would be here in “10 to 15 minutes” when the window was 8 to 12, but at least I didn’t have to wait around for it??

My mom sent me a number of pieces of heirloom furniture, but one of the pieces was missing. I’ve spoken with the moving company four times, and not once did they mention the whole shipment wouldn’t arrive at once even when they were confirming the date, but when the movers showed up, the first thing the guy says it me is “you know we don’t have the rocking chair right?”

No, sir, I did not know that.

So this morning consisted of making calls and wondering if the rocking chair that has been used by at least three generations of women in my family to rock their babies had been accidentally destroyed. They say it just got mis-numbered and is still on its way, but we shall see.

UPDATE: In the middle of writing this blog, I got a call. The rocker has been damaged. They were apparently going to try and fix it, but thankfully they didn’t (I don’t know what would possess them to take that liberty with a 100 year old hand-carved piece of furniture), and it’s coming as-is sometime next week. Get ready for exciting blogs where I try to find an antique furniture repair person.

When that was over, I jumped into Expand just as the sun aligned itself with the side window in my yoga room. The pace has continued to stay up which is exactly what I want and need, and my thighs got what I was asking for yesterday.

Then I went on a walk in the feels-like-30-degrees weather, and that was pretty pleasant. I gained some weight since last summer from being really sedentary and eating my feelings again (you never recover from an eating disorder, I think, you just learn how to keep it at bay), and I’m trying to get rid of the few extra pounds by this coming spring, but unfortunately I am partial to how my butt looks with extra weight. NOT EVERYTHING ELSE, MIND YOU, just the butt. It’s a real bummer. Get it? BUMMER?

But the point is, I am feeling so much better being active and watching what I eat. It’s not totally under control yet, but it’s getting there. I just wanted to say because when Adriene says “take up space” she doesn’t mean with adipose, and that’s something I need to remind myself of.

Take what you need, leave what you don’t.



Image of Adriene Mischler reaching upward with text reading "I'm In! Dedicate A 30 Day Yoga Journey"

January is yoga month, has been for three years running now. Adriene Mischler’s 30 day yoga series on YouTube this year is called Dedicate and that’s exactly what I need to do to so many things. As blogging is one of those things, I think I’ll write up quick posts everyday based around the daily word. Today’s is “Discern.”

The idea is to recognize why you’re here, doing this, and probably to make you think about why you’re here at all and what motivates you. I got on the mat this morning with an intense desire to reestablish a daily practice and working out in general. I get distracted very easily when my habits are broken, even by one day, and I find it really hard to start up again (as evidenced even here, on these pages), so a re-dedication to a daily practice is exactly what I need. I’ve also started following the Couch to 5k program. There isn’t a 5k I’m interested in running, and there may never be, but I am interested in getting outside and being active regularly, to get my stamina up, and to get some good cardio in for my heart. I want to live a quality life for a long time, and I know exercise is the key to that.

With yoga always comes emotional and mental peace for me, and I’d like to get back to that as well. I’ve let in a number of toxic thoughts in the last six months, and I want to clean those out and fill the space up with positivity or at least more useful musings.

The physical yoga today was very basic (which is a word I do NOT associate with negativity, so you go love your pumpkin spice and fuzzy shoes all you want, girl!) The practice was 50 minutes, but the movements were slow and limited in scope. I can see it as a great practice for both beginners and seasoned yogis because it reminds you to be aware of all parts of your body and teaches you patience. Since I’m in the middle of those, I really tried to blank out my mind, close my eyes, and follow her words as intuitively as possible. No, I didn’t sweat (in fact, I shivered because I had a fan on), but I did get a little shaky in my core when I really focused on engaging all of my muscles. If you do it correctly, yoga is an amazing workout, but you absolutely must engage your whole self, including your mind, to get there.

My favorite moment when I’m following any yoga practice is when I just seem to intuitively know where we’re going next, and I get into the next pose a second before the vocal cues happen. I’m not rushing, but my body is just moving that direction already. Of course, it’s largely probably because the poses naturally flow into one another, and when you sync up your breath and your body you just kind of keep going, but I get a nice wave of belonging and purpose in those moments. There are also moments when I blindly start doing something that’s really way off too, so sometimes my spirit’s a little out of sync with the vibe of the video, but that probably makes those instinctive moments even more magical. I had one of those today, and it just brightened up my whole morning.

So I guess that’s why I’m here, to get a little brightness.