Space

The final frontier.

Well I got my goddess pose, and it was great, as always. Today we were reminded to leave room for opportunity and ourselves, and to take up space because we’re worth it. I think I’m doing that. I personally also need to remember to not leave dead space. I am really good at wasting time. Like gold-medal good. Some people hate sitting still and doing nothing. There are times when I’m like that, but for the most part I really enjoy being quiet and alone and passive. That’s great for like a short amount of time on occasion, especially for busy people, but I am pointedly not a busy person, and I can lose myself in that. Of the seven, I am most guilty of sloth.

But I can combat this by drinking coffee. It used to be that caffeine didn’t really do anything to me, but in the last five-ish years, I lose my goddamned mind when I get some. I just had six ounces of light roast and holy shit, I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest, and just sitting here is excruciating. Like, I’m happy that I’m typing and getting this out and being productive, but fuck me do I feel an intense urge to clean the entire house. I’m in the middle of that already, I was just thinking, okay, take ten minutes to write a little of a post then get back to it, but I am really itching to get back up and move furniture.

So I got a new (to me) dining table from my mom (hence the need to move furniture). It’s about 100 years old and was made by the mother of a friend of my grandparents (so like, the generational equivalent of my great-grandmother, and I’m a 31 year old lady whose grandparents were born in the 20s). I think it’s especially cool because it’s woodworking done by a woman in probably the 1930s, and I like the look of it–it reminds me of a viking hall which is the feel I’ve always wanted for a dining room. I also grew up around this table, I had birthday parties around it, put together puzzles on it, played house underneath it, so it’s admittedly sentimental.

The only issue is we already have a dining room table that we got a few years ago off Amazon. I got a counter-height, square table that we really loved for the time we had it. It did come damaged from the warehouse, multiple edges chipped, so when I advised Amazon, I got a deep discount on it (since there was no way it was getting shipped back) and that made me love the table even more. Over the years I’ve done a number of crafts on it, so there are some gashes and paint stains and hot glue globs stuck to it, and remember it started out banged up, so it’s not in the kind of shape that most other people would want, so I’m in the process of figuring out what to do with it and its chairs (too high for the new one). I do not like to hoard, so things must be useful, or they must go.

I’m a fan of space, but not of waste.

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Foundation

Today was, as I texted my mother, the worst day of the year…so far. I fell asleep last night with a little ache in my noggin and woke up with an almost blinding pain rattling around my brain. Husband brought me two naproxen (which I’ve been avoiding in lieu of acetaminophen, but this was bad, my dudes), and I forced myself back to sleep (or “back asleep” as I typically say but have been advised is WRONG by Husband). Upon waking again later my head felt even worse, but we had an appointment with a roofer today to fix a hole (fuck off, nature!), and I needed to get up and do something.

So something I did, as in I cleaned the whole house. My plan was to get up, do yoga first thing, go for a short walk, then do a quick clean of everything including laundry and dishes and then break my fast before my noontime appointment, but I knew I wouldn’t make it through yoga or a walk feeling like my brain was fighting to be on the other side of my skull, so instead I meandered through the house at the pace of a centenarian, moving things back to their rightful places, loading laundry, washing dishes, folding laundry, scooping cat poop, and generally making the house feel livable.

The headache didn’t ease up, even after laying in darkness for a bit, and not even after some Costco pizza! (I feel betrayed, is pizza not supposed to heal all wounds??) So when we got back from the store, I decided, it’s now or never, I gotta get on the mat, it’s only day two for crying out loud, and I’m not going to let my own head stop me!

I don’t remember when my head stopped hurting, but by the time I was in shavasana, I forgot I’d even had a headache to begin with. I’m fairly certain it was Adriene’s sweet, sweet voice, so the list of cure-alls (cure-mosts?) is as follows:

  • Costco food court pizza
  • Adriene Mischler telling you to kiss your sweet knee

I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my story today (even with the headache), and resolved a number of issues I was having all at once. This came on the heels of cleaning up and getting moving, and I think that’s my foundation: getting back to what is proven to work for me which is basically walking around the house, keeping my hands busy with tasks, and talking to myself about imaginary people and scenarios. It’s hard to get back on track after the holidays when your schedule is non existent and all of November and December feel like that, but we’re back now, we’re good, and it’s time to go.