Well, I got unstuck myself, so maybe Reeve can do it too?
I forgot to post my #1linewed here this past week! It’s been hectic, so I’m going to meld a few posts together here.
TW: Discussion of SA below.
There’s this scene (not the one here) that I knew would be part of Celeste’s story from its inception, but I only sketched it out in my initial plotting, and then skimmed over it in drafting, but as I was expanding on it and editing, trying to get it “right,” it occurred to me how…horrific I had made it. This unfortunately happened simultaneously with some other weird emotional stuff with me, so I think the impact felt a little bigger than normal, but ultimately I discovered A Problem.
Sometimes when you’re in the nitty gritty of writing, you don’t realize you’re creating A Problem. You really shouldn’t limit yourself when drafting and instead focus on being more cognizant later on (which thankfully I was here), but the depiction I wrote just sort of hit me in a new way, and I had to ask myself: is this too far? Is it fair to make someone read this in a romcom? Can I, as an author, or Celeste as a character, come back from this successfully?
Which is all very dramatic, right? If you remember this post when you’re reading the book, you might just roll your eyes when you get there, if The Problem even sticks out to you at all. But the depictions of certain kinds of violence really have me waffling between “is this necessary” and “but this happens a lot, and it’s insincere to pretend it’s not a huge part of the human (and largely female) experience.”
The answer is probably “treat this thing with the care and reverence it deserves,” but that care and reverence is ultimately subjective.
Anyway, I pushed through and got unstuck which feels great. Hopefully in the next round of edits it will be easier and I’ll feel “right” about what ultimately gets included in this book, but the thing is, art is a gamble. I’m rereading Big Magic, and it’s true when she says you roll the dice with your words every time. And you’ll never be right, you know? So you just sorta gotta…do it.
I was so kindly gifted this amazing cup from a lovely reader at the Vermont SciFi and Fantasy Expo, and normally it sits safely on an important shelf in my office, but I had to drink out of it on Thursday because I needed to feel like a fancy lady.
I am very excited to report that it worked! I added and edited a bunch of words in Bound to Fall, and I felt quite good while doing it!
But then Friday came. Hubby and I had so many plans on Friday, lots of which we accomplished, but it ended in the ER. Not to worry–everyone is fine! We woke up to a bat flying around our bedroom recently, and after contacting the health department, we were told we needed to see our doctor which of course we don’t have, so the hospital was the only choice. As far as I know, no one actually got bit, but as a precaution, we got all vaxxed up to protect from rabies.
Apparently, in some cases, you’re supposed to catch and keep a bat if you wake up to it in your room so it can be tested as opposed to you having to get shots you may or may not need, but on the other hand, little brown bats are endangered, and this guy didn’t have to get offed for us, so you know, you’re welcome, Earth. Hopefully he lives a long, healthy life and eats lots of mosquitos. Also, now that I’m vaccinated against rabies, I can play with all the wildlife I want for the next three years, right??? (I’m just kidding, don’t do this, I promise you can still be a Disney princess without touching wild animals.)
All the jabs suck, but I’ll say this: science and medicine are fucking rad. Rabies is 99.99% fatal but modern medicine can prevent it! We each got the first round of the vaccine and an immunoglobulin separated into two. Those sucked because they were administered to the thighs/chunky side-butt area. I was not expecting that (and it hurt!) but it’s fine, I have plenty of skin to poke there.
Anyway, thank you, science! Now I get to exist without the fear that I’ll soon seize up and lose my mental faculties and be afraid of water and then die. I’m pretty thankful since I have a lot of books in my head left to write.
akcaggiano.com 